Just like the many different types of players you will encounter in a game of monopoly, you’re bound to bump into a few odd balls at UQES’s annual Pub Crawl. To assist you in identifying them we’ve put together profiles of the diverse types of economics students who will venture out from Colin Clark this Sunday.

Capitalist
Prioritises the acquisition of drinks and growth of drinks tally above all else. Deregulation of the liver, tax cuts to food budget – anything to maintain high insobriety. Will wait until the end of the night to purchase your drink tickets at their fair market value. A capitalist, being a pig, will also settle for the dirtiest drink on offer in order to attain 3% growth in blood alcohol content i.e. as a true Queenslander this means Bundy rum and/or XXXX gold. They need to be drunk to keep believing that their system is perfect after all.

Communist
Congregates in a small group in the corner of the pub. Everyone isn’t quite sure who they are, or where they’ve seen them before (probably campaigning opposite the BBQ stall at the grassy knoll). Continually whispers to you that the drinks tickets system is rigged. The communists will be planning their revolution to seize the means of production (in this case, the bar) in a bid to do away with the drinks tickets system and evenly divide the alcohol amongst all in attendance.

Champagne socialist
Will purchase a $25 cocktail and demand that capitalists hand over their hard-earned drinks tickets to others who are less fortunate than them.

Leftie hack (greens voter)
Will only purchase ethically sourced single origin craft beer and only if they can be sure that the carbon footprint of the purchase can be offset. Will donate drinks tickets to their less fortunate engineering mates because it is the ‘conscientious’ thing to do. Bleeding heart do-gooders the lot of them.

 

Anarchist
Will steal your drinks tickets. Avoid at all costs. Drink of choice: molatov cocktail.

Anarcho-capitalist
Taxation is theft. Will nuke you if you accidentally bump into them and violate their NAP.

Keynesian
Continually tops up the bar tab in order to maintain demand. Drinks ticket handouts for everyone!

Alt-right
Builds a wall around the tequila.

Don’t forget to bring markers, ID, Go Card, and some cash tomorrow! Look forward to seeing you all there (except libertarians, you are not welcome) 🙂

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