With a big year ahead of us and market day behind us, it’s time for the UQES publications team to spread its wings and flaunt its colours. Be nice, we’re shy. Whilst UQES’ other portfolios will be bringing you events where you’ll meet your new best friends, have some cheeky bevs, network with your future employers, or (if you’re REALLY lucky) all of the above, we’ll be providing you with all your procrastination needs. That’s right, from the recently released BEcon Guide to upcoming blog posts ranging from the Commonwealth Games to life economics, we’re proud to announce that we’ll be the reason you missed out on that 7! Now, you might be asking: “But who are these people? Should I really be enjoying all this quality content if the people writing them are morally reprehensible? Or do I have to separate the art from the artist?” We understand your ethical concerns and are ourselves big fans of removing as much #asymmetricinformation as possible so you can be sure you aren’t abusing your rigid moral code. To achieve this, we’ve prepared a concentrated profile of the most important elements of our personalities so you can make the choice for yourself.
Portfolio Position: The Man with Something Resembling a Plan if you Squint Hard Enough
Personal economic flaw/Irrational activity: Invested in bitcoin
Edgy topic/controversial thought: Flightless birds should be ashamed of themselves
Our nicest characteristic: Will shout you a beer over breakfast
Our meanest characteristic: Will remind you how many beers I’ve shouted you
Political position: Both divisive and indecisive
Dream job: Dole-bludger
Proudest moment: Caught a grape in my mouth once
Portfolio Position: The Man Criticising the Man with Something Resembling a Plan if you Squint Hard Enough
Personal economic flaw/Irrational activity: Buys too many burritos
Edgy topic: Answering a call on the bus
Our nicest characteristic: Drives behind learners so no one else can beep at them
Our meanest characteristic: Yells sound, robust economic policy at the Marxists in the Great Court
Political position: Opposed to the majority
Dream job: Save the orangutans
Proudest moment: Overthrowing Tim as leader of the pubs team
Portfolio Position: Pending
Personal economic flaw/Irrational activity: Overpriced acai bowl consumer
Edgy topic: Instagram is better than Facebook
Our nicest characteristic: I will give you all my answers to the homework
Our meanest characteristic: All of the answers I give you will be wrong
Political position: I am in the centre of everything
Dream job: Literally anything (please hire me)
Proudest moment: Landing every bottle flip… ever
Portfolio Position: Snacks
Personal economic flaw/Irrational activity: rides a bike… for fun
Edgy topic: Tesla is overrated
Our nicest characteristic: Never late for lectures
Our meanest characteristic: Never goes to lectures
Political position: Betoota Advocate
Dream job: UQES Publications Officer
Proudest moment: N/A
UQES has heaps planned for the year to come! The CPA First Year Dinner is coming up on February 27th, the newly introduced Subjects Fair on March 7th, and our first networking event on March 21st, and that’s just the first month of uni! Stay tuned though; the dates for our pub crawl and the UQES ball will be announced in the VERY near future, and you’ll want to get in and buy tickets ASAP to get the best deals. In the meantime, take a look at the BEcon Guide for any tips and tricks you might find useful for your subjects, and we wish you the best of luck in the next few weeks!